Pregnancy and baby blogs Never say to a pregnant
Never to say to a pregnant woman
At some point in your pregnancy, like every other pregnant woman, I’m sure you felt embarrassed or awkward because of what other people were telling or asking you. Maybe you received an offensive comment from a stranger or even from a family member. I know the feeling. I’ve been there myself.
It’s the moment when someone says something and it catches us off guard. We’re looking at this person and we don’t know how to respond. As a pregnant woman, this happened to me a lot. And I don’t believe that people want to be rude and insensitive. I was like, “What in the world are you thinking to ask me this?”
Whether you’re friends with someone who’s expecting a child, or you just met a pregnant woman, here are six of the worst things never to say to a pregnant woman. Some of them are rude, but it’s what we hear so often, unfortunately.
1. When are you due?
You are not allowed to ask a pregnant woman this question, unless this person is a family member or your best friend. If it’s someone you’ve just met, you don’t really need to know.
Here is another tip. Never ask when someone is due unless you are certain the person is expecting. A lot of people ask this question to women who are in the first few months after they’ve given birth. You know the time, when you still haven’t lost the baby weight and still have that little “bump”. So unless the person already mentioned she is expecting, don’t destroy the woman’s self-confidence and body image with this question.
2. Was it planned?
OK, this is one question that should never be asked. If you were asked this, you would be left in a precarious position. If you planned the baby, you would be telling about your personal details, like you and your husband were having sexual intercourse with a goal. This is something that you may not want to share. If you didn’t planned the baby, the other person will think that you made a mistake and you regret it, even if you’re happy about it. Keep this information to yourself, because people can draw a lot of wrong conclusions from this.
So let’s not ask this question to our pregnant friend. We could really put her in an awkward situation. And what would we gain from it? Nothing. Let’s be happy that the baby is on the way. It doesn’t really matter if he was planned or not.
3. Are you having twins?
Don’t you ever suggest it by asking this question. I know that this is one of the most upsetting question a pregnant woman could be asked. Oh no! You could be asking if she’s having triplets.
This woman is already feeling badly enough having a bump so big, and you may even make her feel worse. I know that seeing a friend’s bump grow can be so exciting, but keep your comments on her bump to yourself. It can be a very sensitive subject.
Just don’t do it!
4. Are you ready to be a Mommy?
Every pregnant woman wants to be the best mom for her baby. We all have high hopes as new mothers. We read, and search for information on parenting hoping that we’d be the best mothers for our children. That’s why this question insinuates that the person is not actually ready to be a mother. Think about it. Her mind will be full of doubt, as every new mother is wondering if she’s actually ready to handle this big new challenge of parenting. Do you want to remind her of this insecurity she has?
You could do a lot better by encouraging her. Tell her that she’s going to be a great mom, and that the baby will be so lucky. You will boost her confidence as a new mom, and she’ll remember you for it.
5. You have to breastfeed!
This is a hard comment. Anyone should refrain from telling any woman what she should do or not do with her baby. Let it be her choice! Let her decide if she wants to feed her baby or not! You can be a huge proponent to breastfeeding, but not every woman is so, or she may have some problems and make breastfeeding an impossible mission. This well intentioned comment will make her feel like a failure, and you don’t want that.
If you want to tell a pregnant woman how you breastfed your kids, you may say “This worked for me, but it’s different for everyone.” You will show her that she can be different and can do things differently.
6. Finally! It’s about time!
A woman’s pregnancy may be an unexpected surprise, or maybe she had to endure several rounds of IVF. There are a lot of women that have trouble getting pregnant. Imagine how would she feel if you said “It’s about time!” ?
It is better to say “Congratulations!” because you don’t exactly know how she got pregnant, and your comments about the timing can be unintentionally hurtful. Focus on how exciting it is she is welcoming a baby. Try to say “I’m so happy for you!” and “I’m sure the baby will be so loved.” these comments will make any pregnant woman feel supported.
There are some more hurtful and unwanted comments and questions which you should never say to a pregnant woman, such as asking who the father is, or don’t ask if she’s planning on keeping it, and so much more.
If you’re thinking of asking one awkward question to a pregnant woman, you better want to try and say “Congratulations!” and “You’re looking great!” and you’ll be in the clear.
Have you been asked some of these questions yourself? How did it made you feel, and how did you answer?
Our blogger OanaWrites
Oana Popescu is a freelance writer, and a proud mother of a four year old boy. She contributes articles about parenting and lifestyle.
All blogs by OanaWrites
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